Routines and Rigidity

My oldest son Benjamin has been a pretty go with the flow kid despite his autism.  Matthew, however, is not so much that way.  He has started becoming more rigid in his routines and the way that he thinks that things should go.  For example, on our walk to pick up his brothers from school yesterday, you would have thought that I had stabbed him with the screaming he did because at one of the corners we did not walk through the dip in the cement for people with strollers or wheelchairs.  Blood curdling scream because we walked off the edge instead. So I had to talk to him for the next block about how it was going to be OK and changing things was OK.  So we walked through the dip at the next corner and his world was right again.  While he is gaining and making progress with his speech skills, these are moments where I really wish I could talk to him about his thought process.  We have had more success with written instructions because while he doesn't talk much, he can read.  We have also found talking him through situations really helps him calm and know what is going to happen next enough to start feeling comfortable again.  It can be such trial and error!

I was at a local park with him on a field trip of sorts with his Early Childhood class and I have noticed something else.  He always comes up with a "path" of play.  He decides on something that he likes to do on the playground and then he will circle that path on the playground doing the same thing over and over, sometimes deviating but not much.  If I were to take him back there in a month, I guarantee that he would circle that same path of play.  I just need a window to his mind every once in a while.

I remember being fascinated with the book "There's A Boy in Here" with how his mother describes the behavior her son had exhibited and then his older self explains his thought process and why he was doing what he did.  Maybe someday, Matthew will be able to make more sense of it all for me.  For now, I will take the small daily victories and take it all one step at a time.